Love this Artist, love this song, creative video!

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So much has changed in 2 years...Update Post

It's been 2 years since my last blogpost and SO MUCH as changed! I got a teaching job after finishing my teaching program.  I became more involved in church and met different people outside of the ABF group I was part of. My husband and I also made new friends that have become like family to us, especially in this past year.  I traveled to Northern Ireland and Ireland with my husband, and that was AMAZING! I also became pregnant last year in October with our first child.  I completed my first year of teaching this year, and then patiently awaited the arrival of our beautiful daughter Emerie. She came in August, and also left to heaven in August.  I am now here, getting ready to go back to work, empty handed in that regards. I have decided to blog what's going on in my life, especially now that my daughter is gone.  I don't know how my blog posts will look like, or if anyone will even read them, but maybe this will be a good form of therapy for myself at least....
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On the Eve of Christmas...

As I sit here in my parents house, at their computer, I'm contemplating what to write.  The past week until today has been a HUGE rollercoaster ride.  I can't get into specifics, but basically my grief has been brought all the way back to the beginning.  I am feeling more raw then I have before, or at least it feels that way.  It's almost like the scab was starting to form, and someone ripped it off and the wound is bleeding anew.  Last weekend, I even questioned being alive, and my life's meaning.  Thank God that I was on the phone with my mom in that moment because honestly, would I even be alive right now writing this blog? And maybe you are thinking, Jenn, stop being so dramatic.  Honestly, I wish I could wake up from this nightmare and also stop having these crazy emotions and thoughts that haunt me DAILY.  What also sucks about this journey at the moment (not like it wouldn't ever not suck) is that I am beginning to HATE crowds and I exper...
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6 Months, Half an Eternity

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Dear Emerie, happy 6 months.  I wonder what milestones you would be hitting, if you would have been eating foods yet, and maybe even had some teeth? Would you still have hair, would you be holding yourself up, would you be sleeping through the night?  Who would you look like? Would you constantly smile like me? Would you enjoy bath time and story time?  How would you be?  I know that you are up in heaven, rejoicing with the Lord, but mommy and daddy miss you.  We are very selfish and wish you were here on Earth, even though we know heaven is way better.  I can't believe you've been gone that long, it felt like just yesterday we were at the hospital going through all the craziness.  I know I am still a mommy even if you aren't here on earth.  Sometimes it's hard to see myself that way because I am not doing all the typical things one would be doing with a 6 month old baby.  How would my life be now with you here? Would I be working or not? Wou...
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