2nd Year Grief, Countdown Reset, and Closer to Emerie
Leading up to Emerie's 2nd birthday I was struggling as you could tell from my last post. I was doubting God, mad at Him, questioning, and just generally struggling to find peace. The flashbacks were also horrible; there were moments that would just hit me and my emotions would be instantly dragged back to that day when I lost Emerie. The last time I heard her breathe, the first and last time I held her, the realization that she was dead but I couldn't let her go, couldn't stop wishing that God would resurrect her like Lazarus, screaming and crying like I never had done before, calling family and friends to tell them the devastating news, feeling so broken that I thought I was going to die. And then we arrive to Emerie's birthday. After weeks of being in conflict with God, He comes back at me with the biggest sign of Love that just broke me. Friends in Fort Wayne decided to gather at Emerie's grave and sing Happy Birthday to her without us knowing! ...