Looking forward to 2018
Our C-section date is scheduled for January 13, 2018 at 10 a.m.
12 days, 13 hours, 18 minutes.
We hope to meet our 3rd child, hear her beautiful cry, see her beautiful face, snuggle her tightly.
I'm terrified yet excited.
2017 was a long and hard year, full of very stretching challenges and trials.
It was also full of a lot good.
Isn't that always the case?
Good coupled with bad?
I had to learn to find gratitude everyday, and it paid off.
Even though Emerie's absence was very apparent, I learned to keep moving forward.
I decided to not live in denial of what my life could have been...
I struggled to face things that I thought I wouldn't have to with a child,
However, here I am, having done different things this year then planned.
Realization for the millionth time, nothing goes as planned.
A wise mother once said, this time next year it will be different.
I grabbed onto that hope because honestly, some days were just plain horrible and hard.
Pregnancy after loss is no joke.
Anxiety, Fear, and Guilt are constant hounds at my heels.
But so are Hope, Excitement, and Joy.
How can one remain sane with all these contrasting emotions?
I don't know...but here I am, December 31st, 2017, waiting and hoping to meet our 3rd child, baby girl.
I end my reflection with some accomplishments.
During this pregnancy I had to receive injections of progesterone.
I received the last one yesterday, and it felt like a long marathon completed.
There are other marathons that are still happening, but to get through one feels like such a big accomplishment.
My mother has also been SO helpful in preparing the nursery again.
I did not realize how overwhelming this process would be for myself,
But with the help of my mother we are almost ready for this little baby.
Brandon decided to put up the crib tonight as well...
It feels very fitting to end the year with such an act of hope and love.
Of course, never forgetting our children in heaven.
I hope you know that by looking at my life, even though I struggle each day, it is possible to continue moving forward and living the life God has granted you.
I pray and wait patiently for this little girl...
Hoping that we will get to bring her home and raise her on this side of Heaven.
12 days, 13 hours, 18 minutes.
We hope to meet our 3rd child, hear her beautiful cry, see her beautiful face, snuggle her tightly.
I'm terrified yet excited.
2017 was a long and hard year, full of very stretching challenges and trials.
It was also full of a lot good.
Isn't that always the case?
Good coupled with bad?
I had to learn to find gratitude everyday, and it paid off.
Even though Emerie's absence was very apparent, I learned to keep moving forward.
I decided to not live in denial of what my life could have been...
I struggled to face things that I thought I wouldn't have to with a child,
However, here I am, having done different things this year then planned.
Realization for the millionth time, nothing goes as planned.
A wise mother once said, this time next year it will be different.
I grabbed onto that hope because honestly, some days were just plain horrible and hard.
Pregnancy after loss is no joke.
Anxiety, Fear, and Guilt are constant hounds at my heels.
But so are Hope, Excitement, and Joy.
How can one remain sane with all these contrasting emotions?
I don't know...but here I am, December 31st, 2017, waiting and hoping to meet our 3rd child, baby girl.
I end my reflection with some accomplishments.During this pregnancy I had to receive injections of progesterone.
I received the last one yesterday, and it felt like a long marathon completed.
There are other marathons that are still happening, but to get through one feels like such a big accomplishment.
My mother has also been SO helpful in preparing the nursery again.
I did not realize how overwhelming this process would be for myself,
But with the help of my mother we are almost ready for this little baby.
Brandon decided to put up the crib tonight as well...
It feels very fitting to end the year with such an act of hope and love.
Of course, never forgetting our children in heaven.
I hope you know that by looking at my life, even though I struggle each day, it is possible to continue moving forward and living the life God has granted you.
I pray and wait patiently for this little girl...
Hoping that we will get to bring her home and raise her on this side of Heaven.
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